Hudson

Dear Hudson,

I had a terrible dream last night that Daddy and I were on some strange escalator moving away from you and you were standing on the street screaming, and I couldn't get to you. 

 I woke in such panic I could feel tightness in my chest and couldn't go back to sleep.   

When you woke up this morning I hugged you so tightly and gave you so many kisses.  

I wanted to remember your soft milky skin, and your sweet groggy face.  

You are thrown into busy mornings with your girls.  

Some days  you fall into place, 

others you retreat to my room to have your eggo waffle and a show in peace while I get ready. 

You love trucks and your cars.  Blocks and books (especially when your sisters read to you), and your basketball and baseball when you are in the mood.  You sit at your little table and eat bowl after bowl of cereal, and it is the cutest thing.  You wear your underpants and a t-shirt most of the time, and looking at your little legs pressed on the chair almost makes me weep.  As you know, you are my special buddy.  My last baby.  My only boy.  I have relaxed the rules with you.... a lot.  

Maybe because I am growing wiser with age, maybe because I am too tired to push, maybe because you know just how to make sure you say, "I wove you mom.  I'm so sowy" at just the perfect moment before I put you on a time out and lose my mind.  

You love a bath more than almost any activity on earth.
It seems to settle you.

We are gearing up to get you started with swimming lessons soon. Your dad is going to brave that with you as he did with your sisters.  We will enroll you in preschool soon too.  You have been ready for ages.... I am not.  When we take your for your first day,  I will cry.  I am not ready.  We are clearing milestones in the child rearing phase of our life and I can't stand to watch time march on.

Last week we were at Hubbie's house. Just the two of us.  

You wanted fishy crackers in a dish.  

When you poured them you happily looked at me and said, "It is perfect." 

I thought, "yes, that is exactly perfect."  

So, my sweet boy, I just want to say that: 

I love you.

You make me a better mom.

It is a joy to be a part of your life every single day.

You have brought light and life to our house in the most unexpected way.

While you shirt says it, we know it will be so.
You are remarkable.

xoxoxo

mom