#TBT

I am not sure when this picture was taken, but it is one of my top five favorite pictures of you girls.  

I know it was a Feb. or March day, the weather should not have been so warm.

The sun was shining, the bridge was beautiful.

A perfect day.

My sweet baby boy.

 Maybe 1-2 week old Hudson.

Love these oldies but goodies.

My Tay Girl

Dear Taylor,

I have noticed in the past few days that you have matured so significantly, right before my eyes.  

If I were to describe you in a few words, 

I might say you are so smart it blows my mind, 

your memory is unfailing, 

your voracity as a reader is like I have never seen, 

and you are slowly finding your way in the world.  

Most of these things describe you perfectly.  

You are starting to find your way amongst others.  

You are settling into a group of friends, you are finding hobbies that you enjoy,  a

nd you have found your rhythm as big sister and leader.  

As a sister you are funny as anything, silly, patient and kind.  

You make Hudson laugh so hard he aches, 

you play games that are so silly it surprises me, 

and with Anna you are gentle, caring, kind, and best friend.  

You were our first baby and I always wanted you to have a sister so you could have the built in partner in crime that I had with Meggie and Daddy had with Pat Pat.  

We often hear other parents talk about the non stop fighting and bickering, 

and while we certainly have that, it is very mild.  

I think this is because of your temperament with Anna.  

You let the little things roll off your back.  I am grateful for this.

I am so so proud of you every single day.  

I am so proud to be your mom. 

I love you so much.

My thoughts on being your mom....

Dear Taylor, Anna, and Hudson,

I have been so slow in writing to you these past few weeks, though you have weighed heavily on my mind.  Winter break was long but lovely.  It was so nice to spend time with each of you playing board games, reading books, lounging around doing not much of anything.  We are trying hard to preserve that pace, and while I have said here before that some days will be a failure at this, others will not.

In the past week, I have once again been enjoying my spot in the middle place.  I have been caring for my mom/Hubbie, and caring for each of you.  I think that so far, this has been one of the most difficult things I have done, and at the same time, the loneliest and the saddest. You see, I only have one parent left, and I need her.  You need her.  We count on her to fill the gaps.  I am not the softest person, she is.  I don't make charts with drawings on them and stickers and rewards, she does.  She can sit and listen to you read and sound out words for hours.  She can practice math facts with the patience of Mother Theresa.  I bring different things to the picture, but we both add value.  While I sat in the cancer center last week waiting what felt like an eternity for her surgery to finish, I felt alone and I missed you so much.  I craved the routines of our day.  I watched time tick by.  I wore my mom's watch with mine, mostly for comfort.

 I watched a beautiful sunset.  The crowd in the waiting room dwindled throughout the day to just three of us, sitting there long past dark.  Waiting. 

We just did this a few months ago (more here). This time, after days and days in the hospital, I brought her home to recover at our house.  Daddy is gone, Hubbie needed me, you three needed me, and I needed you. You three bring joy and distraction, which I think helps heal.  

Once again, we blended and pureed.  This time, the end of the day looked like this.  

You caught us up on your day, Hudson brought his bucket of trucks to play.  

There was noise, and with that came a bit of joy.

While I know my mom won't live forever, 

she is ours to care for and appreciate as long as we have her.

I am so grateful to have the chance to do so.

The days were hard and long, and boy am I tired. 

I am so grateful to each of you for your help.

The hugs and kisses at the end of the day.

Your sensing that I was struggling and doing your very best.

Thank you.

xoxo

mom

A long promised coat of paint.

My dear sweet Anna,

I am not sure if it was that you are very patient, or completely forgot, but you have waited years for me to paint your room for you.  I have been actively promising for at least 2 years, but kept putting it off.

So, over the break, I decided it was time to paint!  Anything and everything, but especially your room.

We tried a few different purples and ultimately, I settled on one that was a smidge lighter than we started with.  Daddy took the three of you off to a birthday party and I got busy!  

 Here is the finished product!

Goodness gracious I love this Ikea shelf.  It looks so much better than before. 

Your dresser also looks much better in this space. 

 I pulled your bed canopy out again and put it back up.  It looks almost etherial.  

 We have one panel from your baby nursery and sadly this fabric is gone.  I can't find it anywhere. 

Well Anna.  Your room is now as beautiful as you!  It is peaceful, pretty, and perfectly set-up for you.

You are thrilled so far, and I hope that we can keep it neat and organized.

xoxox

mom

A day in the life.....

Well Kiddos,

We are off to a terrible start when it comes to keeping a sane schedule and managing our time well.  

I blame myself since I manage our time. 

Yesterday went like this.

8am camp drop off

Then Daddy, Hudson and I went to the paint store because 

I was convinced we needed to repaint. EVERYTHING. 

We wrapped up a great trip where I talked daddy into letting me repaint most of the downstairs 

and get swatches for the upstairs (tee hee- upstairs painting coming soon).

We happened to be near an insane burrito place so we stopped and grabbed a few on our way home.

We raced from there to drop daddy and HTD, then I got you Anna from camp.

You ate a burrito in the car before your noon PT appointment. 

This was your first trip back this year and.... it felt like no break at all.

The ladies were happy to see you, and you were thrilled to see them.

 From there I picked up Taylor from camp, then we got Anna at PT....

Then got dad and Hudson at home and off to teeth cleaning!

I love the purple look for plaque dye.  

It takes all the cheating out of tooth brushing.

GOLD STAR KIDS! No cavities.

Can we take a moment to reflect on how lucky you are.

When I was a kid we maybe had a walkman to play music... this is so ridiculous.

They clean your teeth while you watch movies???

Anna, you were one chair over also got an A+ in brushing.

 Hudson, there are no pictures of your appointment because you had a defcon 10 meltdown.

You were fine until you had to get in the chair.  

Mind you, I was in the chair with you, but you were NOT having it.

So, in an effort to just get your teeth counted I held you while you kicked me non stop.

Daddy tried to hold your legs, and then you SCREAMED!

It was such fun love.

I am sure it will take a few hundred therapy sessions to work through all your anxiety.

By that time, I am sure I will have developed anxiety thanks to years of dragging you through TORTURE like getting your teeth counted.

:)

We finished the day with basketball camp homework.

It is coach appreciation day tomorrow (which I didn't know about).

Taylor, you made the nicest note for your coach.

Then, because I was not exhausted from all the above, I decided to paint the living spaces downstairs.

So, my New Year's Resolution is going to be to do my best to maintain sanity in our days/weeks/months.  While a day may be chaos, hopefully there will be a feeling of calm overall.

xoxo

mom

The party

Hi Kids,

Sorry, another one for Daddy.

The party.

When we thought about your birthday, 

we imagined our friends gathered around the table enjoying a meal.

It was perfect.

The favors: 2 PBRs and 2 pocket pies. The epitome of you love.

 The table.  

Another view of the pretty table.  

It was definitely a tight squeeze, but I loved the feeling of being at our home.

 The easiest appetizer.   

I am a firm believer of Ina's rule for entertaining which is make about 3 things and assemble the rest.

We have huge Ikea cutting boards.  Marcona Almonds, Cheese, Appricots.  

I forgot the grapes, which would have added nice color:(

This cake was heaven.  HEAVEN.  I ordered from one of our favorite bakeries, Susie Cakes!

People who hate carrot cake, loved this cake. People who love carrot cake, ate seconds and thirds. 

 Lighting candles. Thank God Jill remembered before dinner:)

 Last minute prep/getting dinner ready.  Thank god for Cathy!

Well, that sums up the party!  We had such a special night with so many special friends.  

I loved it and I loved celebrating with you!

xoxo

me

Hello 2014

Well my loves,

It is 2014.  What a year we have ahead of us.

We ended our first day of the year racing to the beach to catch the last few minutes of daylight.

It was perfect.

Our city is too amazing.

We are so so lucky to live here.

Sadly, our Cardinal lost the Rose Bowl but we will not let that kill the year.

 No better way to get everyone focused on the picture than arms up like a roller coaster!

 Panorama mode on my new camera:)  

 Anna girl, you are loving your new hat!  You and Daddy went on a special errand to Sports Basement and you got to pick a treat- you picked this:)

 Me and my guy.

 Nothing better than watching the three of you run along the wall.

 Another panorama.

I could not love this photo of you three any more.

 Or this one, which perfectly shows the three of you.

 As the sun set, it was so nice to take a minute to ponder the possibilities of the year ahead.  

It was such a beautiful night in the city. 

We talked about our goals for the year ahead.

Taylor, you will score a goal in soccer.

Anna, heaven help all of us, but you want to get your brace off this year.

Hudson, you just wanted a fresh baba, but I am sure you have higher hopes:)

Buddy, you are starting school in 2014!  It is a long ways away, but it is this year and you are ready.

xoxoxo

mom