Sleep Away Camp, Round I

Anna! 

You are at sleep away camp as I type this and I miss you so so much!!! 

 I was so nervous that I organized your bags within an inch of its life.  

When we dropped you off on Saturday you were pretty nervous.  

It is a big step to be completely out of contact from your family for an entire week.  

We have sent you notes/letters, and can look for photos in the online albums, 

but we can't hear  your sweet voice!

Your counselor, Tuba (made up name) walked us down to your cabin.

Home sweet home for the next week:)

 Thank goodness for Brooklyn's sweet face when we arrived.

I really couldn't help myself- I got you all set up in your room and unpacked your stuff.

 Your cabinmates:)

 One last picture with Daddy

We had a nice long drive home with loads of traffic, so we took the scenic route, 

which was supposed to be faster.

 We stopped at Pie Ranch, the most adorable little shop.

It was such a treasure, I am so happy we stopped.

 Great fresh veggies and herbs.

 A make your own bouquet stand.

 Taylor made a beautiful wildflower bouquet.

We also picked up some gorgeous purple potatoes, which became our side dish at dinner:)

Our farmstand dinner.
We stopped at the San Gregorio General Store to pick up
steaks and chicken, salad, peaches to grill and fresh breads.

As soon as the plates were cleared I started checking for online photos from the camp....nothing.
I was OVER THE MOON on Monday when a few photos from the website featured my sweet girl.

I continue to stalk the website to see your beautiful face and there have been some great pics!

Hopefully your mail arrived and you are now being showered with mail about how much we love you!

We miss you Anna girl and our house is NOT the same without you.

xoxox

mom

37

Well my loves,

Tomorrow I will be 37.   

37 is really FREAKING OLD and I am not feeling all that thrilled about it. 

Hellllllo downslope to 40.  

When I was in third grade my mom was this age, and she seemed so much older and more together.  

 I thought we would be further along in so many ways.  

That said, when I was 27 I became a mom, three babies in ten years. 

These past ten years have been full, and life-changing and hard, and amazing.  

Good, great, amazing, terrible, thrilling.  

What will the next ten years bring?

 Whatever it will be, I am so lucky that you all will be there with me by my side.

xoxo

mom

Wayyyyy behind

Now that we are far into summer, I wanted to throw up the pictures of the last day of school:)

We blinked and went from last year's last day to now.  

As a reminder, this was the first day of school

And the last day of school.  I can't believe how much older you are here:)

With Daddy on the first day.

\

 With Daddy on the last day.

 When the Saints go marching out.....

One of my favorite traditions about your school:)

So, now that we are almost done with July, congratulations on a wonderful last day of school.

We celebrated with a great trip to the Elk's Club for swimming and fun with friends.

xoxo

mom

Heartbreak......when you least expect it.

My sweet kids,

I haven't found the words to tell you this, but this week, 

we learned that our beloved nanny, 

who I call Mary Poppins, is leaving us.  

Even worse, she has moved away, given no notice, and isn't responding to texts, calls, or emails.  

I am heartbroken.  

This last year has been beyond difficult for me, and often, 

I would say that Mary Poppins was the glue keeping us together.  

She was the calm in our chaotic lives.  

She was both the glitter and glue, while I am heavy on glue.  

This will be a loss we grieve.  We have loved her like a family member.  

She hasn't felt like a stranger in our home, she has blended in with our daily rhythms. 

Mary Poppins has loved the three of you like you were her own.  

She has pulled together last minute costumes, baked festive holiday treats, 

pulled together easter baskets, shopped for groceries and birthday presents, 

cleaned closets, taken you to doctor's appointments, 

and given you snuggles at the end of a long day.

Mostly, I am stunned that she is gone without so much as a goodbye.  

We hope she finds her way to a safe, happy life, but mostly, 

we will be sad that she is gone from ours.

xoxo

mom

Where to begin

Dear Taylor, Anna and Hudson,

Where to begin.  Summer is in full swing and I have failed to write you. There are so many things I wish I could say to each of you, and so many things your eyes tell me. Mostly, I see from you frustration, exhaustion? I hope joy? 

Yesterday marked two years since Grandpa died. 731 days. I have missed him for 731 days and it is still so hard.  Nothing slowed down yesterday to give me a chance to reflect, pause....remember. There is never enough time to mourn him.  I reflected that we had survived and thrived the last two years, but in thinking about that, to say I have thrived wouldn't be true.  I have come completely unraveled. I try to imagine what my dad would say and I don't know.  The thing about Grandpa is that he was the kindest person in that he would do anything for anyone. He took care of everything. If I needed something, he fixed it. Now, that I have to stand on my feet, really for the first time, I can't.

My sweet three, I am so sorry I am not doing a better job. I will find a way to get back to the mom you know, or a version of her.

I love you to the moon and back.

Xoxo

Mom